Life has an ungly twist, just when you think everythings going to be ok reality settles in and look what happens, it something that happening to me right now and I can't seen to get out of it. I wish things were less complicated. I beleive that when I leave SIU things will get better, or rather leave my friends, friends that I cherish, but I will be able to get away from the funk that I have been in since the beginning at least it seems. I can reflect back on everything that has happened throughout being here, but how do I really fell? I don't really know right now. Trying so hard to not fail in a class that if I had just not taken would have been better and of course the classes for major currentlly doesn't look so good either...I am trying though, but with so many things going through my head I think I'm going crazy. I just want this semester to end right now...Well I would have to thankful for somethings even though it's not academics at all. I guess I'll have to just keep on praying and hoping for the best...

I really want to try my best, not let my parents down, not let myself down, but that's just life. It's an ugly twist when you try but don't succeed or meet expectations, that's the hard reality of life. I wish it was about making a difference and not about trying not fail at school because I would definately pass in making a difference.

Ok now that I feel a little bit better, the better side of my life that's been going on: InterVarsity Christian Fellowship is great I like being on the tech team making sure that everything runs smoothly. I has been going so well compared to other years according to what I've heard. I guess I'm the reason why the tech team hasn't be so stressed out and having things go wrong. Credit to me . I went to the IV formal last Friday and it was fun. I don't know if I like dancing all that much or maybe because I can't really dance, well at least I had fun.

I will have to say thanks to all the people in my life that mean someting to me that care. To all my firends from IV I would have gives thanks to, especially to Matt, Betsy, David, James, Sarah Wells, and even Francis hehe for all they have done for me. I really appreciate it. I feel ike I owe a lot to them, but I don't know, maybe I just thinking too much about it. Christmas is coming in about 3 weeks the holiday of good things giving and receivng presents I would have to say and even love that much of the world don't get to feel.

Well I guess I feel a lot better now and I guess now I will plan ahead and perhaps look at the brighter things in life. Til the next time I write on here, which may be many, many months from now and God bless all!

Something different for a change.

Wherever you are it is your own friends who make your world.

-Ralph B Perry

Every choice we make in life determines who we are, but to see what would have been if we went on other paths would we be better off? thus be thankful for all the good things that have happened, friends we have made and every reason that keeps us living through this path.

Quote by me

It's been a really long time since I'vbe updated xanga. I really don't feel like writing on this but I guess I will again maybe a few more times. I've been working at the new theatre showplace 16 and other than that not much going on with my life. It's seems rather dull being back home since nothing really ever happens around here. I'd rather spend time elsewhere. If anyone is doing anything tell me, 'cause I'm really bored of being here. I think it's time that I perhaps move somewhere else. Well, maybe not yet. I don't have the kind of money yet to live elsewhere. Well, somethings seem to never change and that's alright. Blah. I'm thinking about going to church on sundays, but haven't really thought about where around here yet. Maybe I won't go to church around here and wait until I'm away to find one to go to. Anyways, anyone interested in ECI one more time like the old days? It's late and I have to go to work when I wake up. Peace out.